Wow, it’s been a LONG time since I posted. I find it kinda funny that my last blog post (in January!) was about how quickly time flies and how so much can change in a “5” year. Ha! That’s exactly what has happened to me this year. Since my last post, I ended a long-term (on-and-off) relationship, sold my house, released tons of “stuff” (both material and emotional), moved and got a new puppy — not necessarily in that order.
Everything changes! That’s the one “sure thing” we can count on in this crazy world. The big question is: “How do we get through the changes, when, let’s be honest, it feels like our world is crashing down and everything is turning to sh*t?”
Since I write a blog about getting through the ups and downs in life, the Universe decided to give me a final exam in practicing what I preach. (Thank you, Universe.) Coming out on the other side, happy, relieved, lighter and ready for new beginnings– I think I passed the test. Yay me!
But it wasn’t easy. There were times when I wanted to throw in the towel. It was just TOO HARD. Transformation definitely can be painful. Okay, it IS painful. I’m not gonna sugar coat the experience by putting a positive spin on it. It totally sucked BIG TIME! Suckarooski! (Yes, that is a word! The “ski” makes it Polish, I think…) BUT through the pain I always knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Even if the light seemed very dim and far, far away — it was there. Or at least I trusted that it was there. 🙂
During my time of transformation, I not only released a bunch of material stuff I had accumulated over the years — “stuff” that I was convinced was the key to my undying happiness (Ha!) — but I also let go of something even more important in the process — irrational, misbeliefs that had held me back for years, maybe lifetimes. “I have to be perfect to be loved.” “I need stuff to make me feel good.” “A big house and a lucrative job is what will make me ‘successful’ and happy.” If only, if only, if only… then I’ll be happy. Sound familiar?
So many of us get caught up in the “if only, then” trap. If only I had the perfect job, house, car, relationship THEN I’ll ALLOW myself to be happy. But until we accept where and who we are in the moment — since the moment is all we have anyway — we’ll never find happiness. Happiness is in the NOW — not somewhere in the future.
After I let everything go — all the stuff, the toxic relationships, the misbeliefs — I was left with one thing — mySELF. I moved into a tiny new guest house (that I LOVE) and slept. As it turns out, I don’t need much space. Who knew? I let go of the pressure that I had to be DOING SOMETHING — including writing this blog — and I just let myself BE. I hiked, I rested, I read, (I watched the Bachelorette– Really, Emily? Jeff over Sean?), I cried, I released, I moved into acceptance (It is JUST a TV show after all), I ate cupcakes… I healed.
And guess what??? I survived! Yes, folks, I let go of everything I thought was ME. All those attachments (and shoes — okay, maybe I kept a few of those) that I thought defined me and I’m still here. Happier, lighter, freer than ever in my life.
And now I am ready for what is to come. I have a clean slate. I am ready to paint a new canvas. I’m ready to create a new reality that is full of love, friendship, family and true abundance — LOVE. Did I say love? Let me say it again. LOVE. It’s all that matters. It’s all there is. It’s why we’re here. It’s who we are. Don’t forget it.
So here’s to new beginnings! I’m sooooooooo excited!
With Love, For the highest good…
xo, Christy Jacobs