On my personal path of spiritual transformation, the subject of “attachment” keeps coming forward. Attachment to outcomes, attachment to other’s reactions, opinions and feelings, attachment to how it’s “supposed to be,” and most of all — attachment in regard to romantic love.
So the question I’m posing today is this: Is it possible to “throw caution to the wind” and love FULLY without attachment? In my humble, basic-self, HUman experience, the answer is “no.”
Now all you spiritual gurus out there — bear with me for a moment. I’m not speaking of spiritual love. The LOVE that we all ARE as spiritual beings. I’m speaking of romantic love. Romantic love is different. True romantic love requires courage, surrender, compromise, vulnerability and giving of oneSELF. Detachment in the case of romantic love to me feels like an excuse to put up a wall of protection. It feels like control and fear — which is the opposite of love.
It is the “attachment” to the person that inspires our growth. If we’re not attached, we can easily run from anything that causes “upset” instead of sticking it out, feeling the emotions, healing the hurts, and rising above it all in service to our mental, spiritual, and emotional growth. If you remain detached in relationship, there’s no sense of loss if you just walk away. So you can just go from one relationship to another without fully giving of yourSELF, without surrendering to the ups and downs that inspire growth, without learning anything. Remaining detached doesn’t serve the soul. The soul’s purpose is to “experience” all the good and bad that life has to offer in order to learn.
Now all that being said, I do think we are best served if we go through life creating and discovering new things without being attached to the outcome. Intention is very powerful. Set your intention, then let it go… But let’s not underestimate the value in raw romantic “attachment.” The kind of love that inspires you to be your best SELF. The kind of love that captures your heart so strongly, that you are forced to learn your lessons — hopefully with grace and love.
To me, that’s the reward of attachment. What do you think?
With LOVE, for the highest good….
xo, Christy Jacobs